Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
Princesses don't give blow jobs
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
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