who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
Congratulations! We have a period
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
