it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
