I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
