She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
Another day, another engagement, another cat
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
