Whats the glycemic index on semen?
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
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