he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
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