Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
