I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
