my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Randomize