scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
Randomize
