drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
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