I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
Are these your boobs on my camera?
Randomize
