He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize
