I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
Randomize
