We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
I miss vodka workout Fridays
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
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