why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
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