"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
Randomize
