can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
I enjoy the company of your penis
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