So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
