question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
is wine microwaveable?
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
Randomize
