You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
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