I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
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