glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
Randomize
