so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Randomize