we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
I wish life had little blips of pornography
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Randomize
