your thong is hanging out like whoa
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Randomize
