ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
Randomize
