Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
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