Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
Randomize
