I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
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