eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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