i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Randomize
