What tipped you off? The sombrero?
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
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