he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
