Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
Is it because I queefed?
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize
