All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
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