He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
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