You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
Randomize