I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Randomize
