I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
Randomize
