Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
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