I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Randomize
