So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
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