I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
Randomize