At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
