what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Randomize