We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
Randomize
