mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
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