Having a random hookup so left but love u
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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