dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Randomize
