It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
I have post one night stand depression
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
