I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
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