drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
Randomize
