I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
