i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
Randomize
