We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
