This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
