Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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