some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
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