hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Randomize