Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
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