He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
Randomize
