I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
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