Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
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