I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
Randomize
