When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
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