Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
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