I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize
