Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize