Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
She's the barista slut.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
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